someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
