We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
