maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
