Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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