GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
