margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I want a musical about memes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
