The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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