I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize