Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
