its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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