I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
