even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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