Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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