Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is that strawberry winking at me??
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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