I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
