If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my sisters under your porch take her home
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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