I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
