oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
