there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
