I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
