So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
