So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
