i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
