So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
