If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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