I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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