At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
