so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
