Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize