google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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