we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
