i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
