so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
