i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
