is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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