Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
why is half of my head shaved?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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