What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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