"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
