Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We are two peas in an std pod
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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