Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
