the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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