Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
