Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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