btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
