Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
