My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize