69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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