It's Friday. Sex?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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