when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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