also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize