Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
