apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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