it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
