i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
