apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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