Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
