Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
