At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
