he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
