just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
