my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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