I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my being single is dangerous.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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