Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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