she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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