Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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