don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
