I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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