you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
