His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
