And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
