last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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