whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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