When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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