She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
