The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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